


Bad chat up lines by the ineffable morons

by Anonymous



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Bad Pick-Up Lines, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-23
Updated: 2019-10-26
Packaged: 2020-12-31 19:29:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21150995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Just bad chat up lines. Idk either





	1. Chapter 1

Aziraphale: Hey Crowley you are the hot cocoa to my marshmellows  
Crowley: What? Why?  
Aziraphale: Because you're hot and I want to top you  
Crowley:...*softly* ok  
\------------  
Crowley: Hey Angel are you my toe?  
Aziraphale: What do you mean dear?  
Crowley: BECAUSE I WANT TO BANG YOU ON ALL OF THE FURNATURE  
Aziraphale: But my dear think of the books-  
\-------------  
Crowley: Angel would you ever deny a last request?  
Aziraphale: No dear of course not, why do you ask?  
Crowley: Because my dick just died and it's last request was to be burried in you  
Aziraphale: Oh dear lord please stop  
\------------  
CrowleY: Angel let’s have a who’s better in bed contest. I’ll happily be a sore loser  
Aziraphale: Oh you will be  
Crowley: What?  
Aziraphale: What?


	2. More chat up lines but cute-ish ones

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't even know. I'll keep adding random ones when they come to me

*Crowley trips up falling flat on the floor*  
Aziraphale: Oh my dear boy, are you ok?  
*Crowley trying to play it off and act cool* : Yeah I just can't help falling for you you're too irrestible ;)  
Aziraphale: ....  
\------------  
Aziraphale: Dear your hand looks quite heavy would you like me to hold it for you?  
Crowley: Yes please  
\------------  
Crowley: Angel can you hold this for a second for me please?   
Aziraphale *holding out his hands*: Yes what would you like me to hold?  
Crowley: Me  
*Hugs*  
\-------  
Gabriel: I'm gorgeous as the humans would say I'm a snacc but i'm more than that i'm a full 3 course dinner  
Crowley: Ok food posioning calm down  
\--------  
Aziraphale: I've been learning pick up lines want to hear one?  
Crowley: Sure angel hit me  
Aziraphale: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?  
Crowley *tearing up*:......yes  
Aziraphale: WAIT NO!  
\----------  
Crowley: Hey angel are you a book? Because once I want to pick you up and not put you down  
Aziraphale: Oh Crowley <3


	3. Moreeee lines

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone stop me, you poor people

Crowley: Angel I should start charging you rent  
Aziraphale: Why? I don't live with you  
Crowley: Well you spend all day on my mind so I don't see why I shouldn't ;)  
\----------  
Crowley: *Laughing to himself*  
Aziraphale: What are you laughing at dear?  
Crowley: Just thinking that when we did the trials the angels finally saw you as I do  
Aziraphale: And whats that?  
Crowley: HOT AS HELL  
Aziraphale:....  
\------------


End file.
